Flip through the pages of any woman’s magazine, or peruse the relationship sites on the Internet, and you’ll find dozens of essays on the topic of love. More specifically, many writers discuss in great detail what serves as proof that a man loves a woman. Some of the things discussed as signs of a man’s love include: introducing a woman to his friends and family, making room for her clothing in his closet, and inviting her to work events. What strikes me the most about these posts is they point to the fact that women hope for signs of love, instead of focusing on the reality of a relationship.
The Three BIG Words
Many women have high hopes that new relationships will blossom into something magical. They hope that this man will become “the one;” the man who loves her more than anything. The reality here is that most men have trouble saying the words, “I love you,” so if a man does utter that phrase after the couple has dated for a while, then a woman should listen. The man probably means what he says.
Words vs. Actions
In some cases, however, there are men who are serial daters. We all know the type. He’s the man who swoops in fast, and who sweeps a woman off her feet with grand gestures. He’s outgoing, loads of fun, a charmer. For instance, a woman who enters into a relationship with a man who is 45 years old, a man who has never been married, but who has had a series of serious relationships needs to look at the reality of the situation.  This Casanova may say “I love you” early in the relationship, but what he is really saying is, “I will love you for a while…until another, more exciting, woman comes my way.”
Tangible Signs of Commitment
So far I’ve discussed the fact that if a man tells a woman he loves her, and he is not a confirmed bachelor, then he probably really means it. In addition to saying the words, a man really loves a woman if there are tangible signs he is committed. These tangible signs include promise rings, engagement rings, and even things like shared bank accounts. If one thinks about it, if a man wants a woman to wear a piece of jewelry that shows his love for her, or if he will allow a mixing of finances, then he most likely does love the woman.
Look at Reality Not Fantasy
The lesson learned here: base assumptions about a love relationship on the truth instead of on fantasy. Instead of looking for signs, such as these: 1. He loves you because he has started to wear blue, your favorite color. 2. He loves you because he asked you to help him write a paper or sew his ripped pants or some other chore. 3. He loves you because he mentions you should have a barbecue with his best friend. Look towards real life. He most likely loves you if he says, “I love you,” or if he offers a tangible symbol of that love.
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Other positive signs in a relationship:
You meet and spend time with his friends and family.
He includes you in his plans.
He takes you to social events for his place of work.
The meta message here is that if he integrates you into all aspects of his life, he probably truly is interested in you.