Breast cancer is a devastating diagnosis, especially for the women who have it. There is an abundance of information available for women on what to do, what to expect, and how to cope with having breast cancer. Admittedly, such knowledge is little comfort to the women who need it, but it is there, and it can be useful. Also useful, but scarcely available, is advice for men who are coping with the effects of cancer on the lives of the women they love, their families, and themselves.
The first and best advice for a man when a woman he loves suffering from breast cancer is to obtain as much knowledge as possible about the cancer, the treatments, and the effects of both. Knowing what to expect can help lessen the stress involved in dealing with the inevitable changes that will take place. Equally important is for him to remove his ego from the equation. Listen intently to her and respond appropriately, with humility and patience, to her wants and needs.
Remaining positive and strong for her will not be easy, and a man should not try to be the tough guy all the time. Putting up a front and not being honest about how the cancer is affecting him will only get in the way of any progress that might be made. Getting away once in a while is recommended. A round of golf or a round of drinks may be just the ticket, but whatever he does, a man should never avoid talking about his feelings and fears with a good friend or family member. Deserved or not, men have a reputation for bottling up their feelings. Some men do have a hard time opening up emotionally, so it is difficult for them to share emotionally charged information with even their closest friends. Fortunately for them, there are now support groups and online forums for anonymous disclosure.
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What about information for the men who are diagnosed? It is rare but it happens.
I agree that learning as much as you can about it can be the best way to deal with it. Knowing and understanding something removes some of the fear of uncertainty, and can also make you feel better that everything that can be done to help is being done.