My relationship post this week is in honor of National Men’s Health Month. This is because building meaningful relationships with peers has a direct correspondence with a man’s mental health. Â In essence, although many men tend to not like talking about emotions, they still benefit from the company of male friends. Â In tough times, male friends may not discuss issues non stop like the majority of females do, but they still offer support and reassurance; therefore, men need to be cognizant of the fact that having male friends can be key to a happy and healthy life.
Common Interests/Common Bond
My twenty something son has unique interests, including a love of East Asia, photography, and participating in community service projects. Â Finding a like-minded friend while in high school in a small, Midwestern town proved to be quite a challenge; however, when he went to college in a large US city, he found many male friends with similar interests. Â There is a lesson here: if a man can’t find someone who shares his love of war re-enactments, it may mean traveling to a city that offers organizations that support this particular interest. Â Instead of being upset because he can’t find anyone who thinks like he does, he needs to seek those with common interests. Â And what follows common interest is a common bond.
Shared Experiences/Shared Lives
Once a man finds a friend who shares a common interest, from boating to bowling, he needs to actually DO the activity with his new companion. Â Studies have shown that men build relationships while engaged in physical activity. Â This can be best explained by imagining a group of males on a baseball or football team. After the season ends, they have bonded enough to call each other friends. Â Through action they formed a bond.
A good example is my brother, a fishing nut. Â He has a great friend that he has fished with since they were both fourteen. Â They never “gossip” or discuss feelings, yet this friend has been a source of support for my brother during a nasty divorce, illness, and even my mom’s death. Â They have shared a love of fishing, and they have shared a true friendship.
Make Time, All the Time
When building friendships, men need to be able to spend time away from girlfriends/wives. LADIES, listen up. Â It doesn’t mean that your guy doesn’t love you if he wants to go golfing or hiking; he just needs male friends. Â MEN, listen up, too. Â It is necessary for you to keep male friendships once you marry. Â Your wife can’t be your only source of emotional support. Â Keep working on friendships even after the I do’s.
Benefits of Friends
I have already spelled out many of the benefits of male friendships.  From doing activities you both love, to just being there when life’s struggles happen, friends are a necessity for good mental health.  So, if any man lacks in the friendship department, I hope he takes my advice and starts building meaningful  relationships to enrich his life.
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