Relationships seem to be one place where men and women waste precious time. Â We stick by a toxic friend or a close family member because it’s “what we’re supposed to do.” Â We forget that if we continue to give our valuable time to a lost cause, then we will neglect those relationships truly worth fighting for.
Maybe you have tried to connect repeatedly with a sibling who doesn’t ever reciprocate, or you have a friend who wants to only get together when she needs someone to discuss her relationship woes with – while never listening to what you have to say! Â If this sounds familiar, take my advice – stop wasting time!
For instance, I don’t have any sisters, but I do have a special cousin who is just like a sister to me.  We grew up together, and although we don’t live near each other, we stay close, and we love each other very much.  On the other hand, I have a brother who wants nothing to do with me.  I wasted plenty of years trying to “make him love me,” but I’m living proof – just because you wish for something, doesn’t mean it’s ever going to happen. I do love people.  I’m all for family and friendship, but when you get burned one too many times, it’s just foolhardy to keep the relationship going.
A few years ago, I accepted that my fantasy relationship with him was never going to happen. Â We will never have hour long chats on the phone, and we will never just hang out, but that’s OK. Â Once I faced the truth, I stopped wasting so much time on him, and I placed it where it belonged, on my dear cousin and her husband, the two people who had always accepted me for me!
Around that same time, I finally learned to ditch those toxic friends who only wanted to take from our relationship. Â For instance, I had a friend who always seemed to be in crisis mode. Â No matter how much I tried to help her, she never seemed to help herself. Â Every other day, she’d be at my door looking for either a shoulder to cry on, or for me to do her an immediate favor; however, she never did anything for me in return. Â When I look back at the situation, I wonder how I could have been so blind, and how I could have wasted so much time, let alone Kleenex, on this woman, and this non-relationship.
If you find yourself beating your head against a wall when it comes to either a relationship with a family member or friend, ask yourself if the hassle (and the investment of time and energy) is really worth what you receive in return. Â If not, take a breather, and figure out which relationships you have that are real.
At this point in my life I am so happy that plenty of people love me for me, and I am going to spend as much time as I can loving them for who they are too.
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