Stop Wasting Time!

by Lori Sciame July 30th, 2012 | Relationships
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Relationships seem to be one place where men and women waste precious time.  We stick by a toxic friend or a close family member because it’s “what we’re supposed to do.”  We forget that if we continue to give our valuable time to a lost cause, then we will neglect those relationships truly worth fighting for.

Maybe you have tried to connect repeatedly with a sibling who doesn’t ever reciprocate, or you have a friend who wants to only get together when she needs someone to discuss her relationship woes with – while never listening to what you have to say!  If this sounds familiar, take my advice – stop wasting time!

For instance, I don’t have any sisters, but I do have a special cousin who is just like a sister to me.  We grew up together, and although we don’t live near each other, we stay close, and we love each other very much.  On the other hand, I have a brother who wants nothing to do with me.  I wasted plenty of years trying to “make him love me,” but I’m living proof – just because you wish for something, doesn’t mean it’s ever going to happen. I do love people.  I’m all for family and friendship, but when you get burned one too many times, it’s just foolhardy to keep the relationship going.

A few years ago, I accepted that my fantasy relationship with him was never going to happen.  We will never have hour long chats on the phone, and we will never just hang out, but that’s OK.  Once I faced the truth, I stopped wasting so much time on him, and I placed it where it belonged, on my dear cousin and her husband, the two people who had always accepted me for me!

Around that same time, I finally learned to ditch those toxic friends who only wanted to take from our relationship.  For instance, I had a friend who always seemed to be in crisis mode.  No matter how much I tried to help her, she never seemed to help herself.  Every other day, she’d be at my door looking for either a shoulder to cry on, or for me to do her an immediate favor; however, she never did anything for me in return.  When I look back at the situation, I wonder how I could have been so blind, and how I could have wasted so much time, let alone Kleenex, on this woman, and this non-relationship.

If you find yourself beating your head against a wall when it comes to either a relationship with a family member or friend, ask yourself if the hassle (and the investment of time and energy) is really worth what you receive in return.  If not, take a breather, and figure out which relationships you have that are real.

At this point in my life I am so happy that plenty of people love me for me, and I am going to spend as much time as I can loving them for who they are too.

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